Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
