Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
