Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sorry about my life...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
