He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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