I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I touched a dick in church today
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
