You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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