Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
