dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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