Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
