I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
