best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
