I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?