It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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