Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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