Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.