ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
