You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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