I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
