Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
