Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
