If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
