is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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