i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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