why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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