i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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