Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
