i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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