so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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