i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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