captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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