saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
