Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize