can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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