Sry I called you an 8
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
