Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
