My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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