At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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