You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You need a sexual gate keeper
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
