paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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