this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
