god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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