I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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