wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sober January is a disaster.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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