i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
