Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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