I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
