She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
