We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
