oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
