nut hugger
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Randomize
