Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize