I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
