You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
