I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
