Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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