He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize