YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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