Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
