i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
do herpes really smell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
