you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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