Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
