so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
