He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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