I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
