What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
