Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
