M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
