i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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