duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize