Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
